If you find yourself frustrated with the results of your dog training attempts, it may be due to one or both of two reasons: unrealistic expectations and poor communication. In fact the two are related in a way.

Don't Expect too Much from a Dog
Your unmet expectations may go something like this:
    My dog should understand what I want from him automatically.
   - My dog should get what I am teaching him after only a few tries.
   - My dog knows when he is doing something bad.
None of these beliefs are true. And the reason lies in our communication styles.

Dogs Just Don't Get It
Patricia McConnell – in her excellent book The Other Side of the Leash - likens talking to your dog to trying to communicate with someone from another country. I would take it even further, and rewrite a well-known pop phrase – Humans are from Earth, dogs are from Pluto.

That is, it is not only that dogs don’t speak English; they don’t use words at all. They are much more visually orientated than we are, and to make matters worse, interpret the visual signals they receive much differently than we do.

These signals may be deliberate ones on our part, or completely unconscious and not intended to be a signal at all, such as simply sighing out of frustration, or the direction our body is facing when we talk to our dogs.

Dogs Don't Hug
Gestures that mean one thing to us may mean something completely different to dogs. Take hugs for example. Human beings express affection with hugs and kisses, but to a dog a hug (defined as an arm over the back of a dog) is an aggressive act or a show of dominance.
You may think your dog enjoys it, but most likely he has simply learned to tolerate your hugs as just another silly human quirk that he must live with.

The richness of the English language can itself lead to communication problems when it comes to dogs. We have multiple ways to express the same thought – down, lie, lay, lie down all mean the same to us. Conversely, one word can mean many things – down can be used to tell the dog “don’t jump on me”, “get off the couch” or “lie down where you are”.

The trouble is though we can figure out which meaning is meant depending on the context, dogs cannot. Further, because dogs only understand the words we teach them, if you were to use an entire sentence to issue a command, say,  “Winston, come over here and lie down please”, poor Winston would probably not even be able to distinguish the word “down” from the rest of the sentence, let alone get it’s meaning.

Tone of Voice Important to a Dog
How you say the word has an effect as well. If, for example, you call your dog to you using a high voice and friendly tone, she will probably come running.

On the other hand, we often call our dogs angrily, as when they have run off somewhere or are doing something they shouldn’t be doing.
The dog may associate this angry tone with unpleasant consequences, and can’t conceive that it could have the same meaning as your friendly “come!”

Learning to Talk to Your Dog
Learning to communicate clearly and concisely is half the battle in training. And believe me, I know it is not as easy as it sounds.

The first thing to learn is to choose one word for one action and stick to it. This will go a long way towards easing your frustration and the dog’s potential confusion. Make sure everyone in your family uses the same word and expects the same response from it.

So if “sit” to you means put just the rump on the floor, and do it within three seconds of the request, then you your husband can’t accept lying down, or turning around three times and then sitting. He needs to expect and reward only the exact same response as you.

Secondly, when you give a command, do it once. If you routinely repeat the word until the dog finally complies, then you have taught him that if you say “sit, sit SIT!” he should sit, but he doesn’t have to otherwise.

Third, be aware of body language and inadvertent signals you may be sending. Dogs are so much more aware of the smallest movement than we are. Stepping or leaning back even slightly may encourage a dog to “come”, whereas moving toward him may keep him sitting.

Turning to look at something else while you give a command may be interpreted by the dog to mean “look over there”.

Training Yourself
Before you continue your training program, it may help to evaluate how you are doing things. Consider your tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and movements.

Look as well as your dog’s body posture, as it can indicate whether he is anxious, frightened or just confused. It may even help to have someone else observe your training sessions and give you feedback, or to video tape them and watch them yourself.

Try to see how our dog may be interpreting (or misinterpreting if you will) your signals, and work to eliminate anything that may be at cross-purposes.

If you always keep in mind that your dog really, really doesn’t understand what you are saying when you talk to him, you will be less likely to lose your patience when training is not going well, and more likely to succeed.

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